Just to get it off the headlines:

Damm shazamm, where's my joke that I cut and pasted??

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and
> said "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome and with experience on
> Broadway, he had the right credentials.
>
> The agent asked, "What's your name?"
>
> The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."
>
> The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
> Hollywood , you are going to have to change your name."
>
> "I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old,
> I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."
>
> The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you
> will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm
>telling
> you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent
> you."
>
> "So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the guy said
> and he left the agent's office.
>
> FIVE YEARS LATER..... The agent opens an envelope sent to his
> office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The
>agent is
> awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter
> enclosed...
> "Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to
> become an actor in Hollywood , you told me I needed to change my name.
> Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told
>me I would never
> make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left
>your
> office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to
> change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I
>signed
> with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name,
>so the
> enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
>
> Thank you for your advice.
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Dick van Dyke