I recently watched a news story on how work life is easier for the "attractive" people of the world. (Well, duh) They make more money, are given more respect, and promoted more quickly than the "average" looking people.

I would add to that my own observation that when a man reaches middle age, it is much harder to "get ahead" in his career that it was at a younger age. In my own experience, I had a "golden" era in my twenties through early thirties where my career just moved along so smoothly. I incorrectly assumed that would continue as long as I worked hard and pushed myself to improve.

However, when I reached my forties, I noticed that I sort af plataued in my career, and more and more became part of the landscape. I know with certainty that I am working as hard or harder than ever to excel, but if anything I am losing ground.

Even in other areas of life I notice differences. Female store clerks and waitresses smile less, coworkers seek less of my opinons, and I get the feeling I am nearly invisible to the world at large.

Is this the curse of being a middle-aged (I turn 49 next week) man? It really stinks. I can sort of see why some guys in this age group flip out a little bit.

I'd be interested to hear if anyone else in the 40's and 50's age group has had a similar experience.

Yes and no. I too feel that I have sort of plateaued career-wise. I just got a "talking to" last Friday that I "may not be totally dedicated" to the department. I felt "WTF, I work more hours, not including commute time, than all but one person here". What a crock.

As far as clerks/waitresses/etc - I have found that since I've lost some weight and dressed better, that I have been getting some more flirtatious attention.

I also agree that this is probably why many of us "flip out" at this age. Our relevance in the world is not as clear, our mortality is more apparent, and our bosses are ******** at us for not being willing to put in 80 hour weeks anymore.

At our age (I turn 48 this week)we have finally learned that 80 hour work weeks do not mean that we will get ahead. we learn that our jobs aren't the overriding concern in our lives and that cutting out early every now and then to do something worthwhile is okay.

Amen (although I'm a spry 44).

Get this - I got called on the carpet the other day for "lacking dedication". It wasn't clear just exactly that meant, and believe me I tried to pin down WTF they were talking about. Nearest I can tell it was 'cause I was engaging in idle chit-chat.

Screw that. I have accomplished a freaking amazing amount of work for the department, and I get a smack down like that for taking 5 minutes to talk about "Wild Hogs" (or whatever)?

Well I'm into my 50s and seen my career go up and down and side to side.

I guess it depends on what your needs are whether or not your careeris at a plateau and probably the industry that you are in.

I don't have the same desire and fight that I had 20 years ago and am much wiser. I also have already faught my way to the top and found that the view wasn't as glorious as it seemed from a distance and it can be ruthless. Stepping down a level in a much bigger place I have found that my expertese and experience is invaluable to the company because I know what the CEO is thinking and dealing with and get paid well. I also don't take as much crap as I use to.

I also want more quality out of life that doesn't always come from work. Being able to sleep and have a normal blood pressure is worth getting paid less.

As far as being invisible I guess it depends on how you see yourself. I probably say hi to more people than when I was younger and get more responses, the peers of my teenage kids excepted. If you perceive yourself in that way then that is probably how you are coming across.

quote:

As far as being invisible I guess it depends on how you see yourself. I probably say hi to more people than when I was younger and get more responses, the peers of my teenage kids excepted. If you perceive yourself in that way then that is probably how you are coming across.

I've found that many people who are older (like our parents) tend to take either two tracks - afraid to leave the house or afraid of nothing. I hope when I'm 70 I'm in the "afraid of nothing" camp.

That said, it really is how you carry yourself that determines if you are noticed or not.

quote:

That said, it really is how you carry yourself that determines if you are noticed or not.


--
"No job is beneath a man's dignity as long as it is honest and supports his family" - my grandfather

Well said. That's what kept my Dad going. He retired at 65, but quit work 20+ years later. He was a grease monkey from the old school, and wasn't afraid to work. After retirement, the only time he didn't work was when he didn't want to.

After 20 years in the Department of Corruption Corrections, I told them to toss it and went in search of something else. Then knocking at 50, I thought I might have trouble...but didn't. People seem to want to hire people with experience that they can use...and the only way to get it is to have worked it.

Judge,

I am new to this forum.

I am retired now, but I had a similiar experience when I was hired by a small high tech company as Test Lab Director for several Gov contracts. Before sending me the offer letter, The Senior VP that I was going to report to made it clear that they did not want me to do anything about my grey hair. They felt that the Labs had a lot of younger Engineers and Technicians who would respond better to an older Engineering Manager. They also thought that it would help when sitting across the table from the Gov Customer who had a history of being difficult.

I spend 4 good years with them before finding something else that interested me more, and again the next company was also looking someone to work with a lot of younger people and another difficult Gov Customer.

Just an observation after a few months since my post. There is no question in my mind that once you hit 50ish, you have to do more to be noticed and appreciated. I swear, sometimes I think I have turned invisiable when I'm out on job sites.

I have to admit that I get a little kick out of solving a problem one of the "young bucks" missed and seeing the look on their faces.

I have to admit that I get a little kick out of solving a problem one of the "young bucks" missed and seeing the look on their faces.

Ah, experience - a commodity that can neither be bought or sold, only obtained over time. I have worked in my career field for thirty some odd years now and still find that old age and treachery beats youth and enthusiasm every time. I can appreciate the time and dedication required to obtain a sheepskin, but I have acquired a Masters in Life, and I'm called upon every day to use it or share it.

Chief, we're still very relevant and always will be.

Here's an interesting exercise - I started a document detailing my accomplishments at my last couple of jobs. I have sections for projects, committee memberships (and other participation-y things), awards, and training.

For just my current job, it's running several pages (still adding to it) and is quite illuminating. It's also a nice pick-me-up.

quote:

Originally posted by LKS:
Here's an interesting exercise - I started a document detailing my accomplishments at my last couple of jobs. I have sections for projects, committee memberships (and other participation-y things), awards, and training.

For just my current job, it's running several pages (still adding to it) and is quite illuminating. It's also a nice pick-me-up.

It should prove useful the next time you update your resume or head off to an interview. All too often we forget details that could be crucial to our careers.