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hello everyone, just recently my wife confessed that she is not in love with me, she said she loves me but its more like a friend. she said that the main reason was that we have no passion. we have been married for 5 years and i feel like i didnt do enough, im thinking that maybe i just got confortable being married that i gained 20 lbs. so i ved felt hurt but im also now more determine to bring back the passion we had when we first met. and it also seems like im not the only person having these kinda of problems. so i wanted to know is there some advice someone can give me? when i talked to my wife i told her that things are gonna change for the better, and she said well we will have to take it slow. I really love her and do not want to lose her.
but is there any advice someone can give me ? we have 4 kids one is our own and the others are adopted. Thanks |
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I'm probably not the best person to give you advice, but I have managed to stay married for 29 years, and I suppose you could at least learn from my mistakes.
I think if i have learned anything, it is that there's a balance between not giving her enough, and giving her too much. You claim you have gotten comfortable in the marrairge, so perhaps you do shoulder some blame. But, I think it would be a huge mistake to go overboard trying to win back her affections. If you do, she may just take advantage of that in the future. So go ahead, get back in shape, be more considerate of her perspective. But don't blame yourself for everything, and don't make an ass of yourself trying to please her. |
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No surprise with 4 kids the passion is a little cool.
But then passion can be the opposite of courtesy, the opposite of consideration, the opposite of "nice" Passion can be strong feeling of any kind. Not suggesting that you become an a-hole, but everyone likes to be around people who are excited about something-and who don't take excuses, don't make excuses, go toward their goals and don't get distracted. Like CE said, don't make an ass out of yourself trying to fill the bill; you can't just start to become "passionate" about anything including your wife out of thin air. Is she shouldering some of the responsibility, or are you supposed to instill passion all by yourself? Better talk a little about this...anyway, have an edge, be more direct, bring it. Sounds like she is depressed, or maybe there's someone else? Good luck, anyway. |
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Hey buddy been ther and going through a again. split with my ex under the same circumstances and just gettin over a similar hump with my wife who i've been with for 6 yrs. You have to be true to yourself man. If you still love her than great but you have to love her because you love her, not expecting anything in return (cause thats just something you can't control). In the end only you can make yourself happy. Maybe when you find what makes you happy she'll want that and fall in love with you again. IF SHE DOESN'T LET HER GO HOLDING ON ONLY MAKES YOU FEEL MORE LIKE A FOOL AND HURTS YOU NOT HER.
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I petty your situation.... its really bad, maybe she just hurrying up things. or maybe she just not sure of it yet. Does you love her still???? Its really tragic in your part....But, don't worry everything will be alright. She will realize how important you are to her.... ---------------------------- bad credit equity loans nj homeowners insurance home loan mortgage refinance |
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