ptownscorpio is 100% right in this. The only thing I would drop is the "someday" part--that's too vague. The girl will be thinking "Well does he or doesn't he?" If she is interested she will say yes or if she can't make it that night, will suggest another night. If she makes lame excuses she is trying to save you from further embarrassment. Too many guys (and I think that the reasons vary for this) use the someday line and then the girl is left wondering what is going on. Is he just leading her on or what? Especially if they never get around to "someday."

I know that it's hard to relax but try to just enjoy the company. I can truly say that when I stopped "trying" and just enjoyed the fun and friends, things went much more smoothly and were far more enjoyable all the way around.

One of the main reasons that I suggested (in the beginning) that being friends first is a good way to go is that you can overlook some great people before you really get to know them. Don't look for perfection--it's not there and the packaging can be very deceiving.

ptownscorpio, I'm sorry that you feel so bitter. But you can't let that color your life. That is handing the control back to the ones who have caused the bitterness in the first place. Do you really want that? It's something that is universally unattractive because it brings everyone down. If you were female, they would call you a bitch, right? There are plenty of miserable people in this world and neither of the sexes has the market cornered. I have heard so many women say that they are giving up on men and vice versa--and I was one of them and may be again! It's the weeding the garden part that is no fun, especially when you wind up with something you didn't want. If you want things to change, take a look at the girls you have been with and look for some common factors. If you are hoping to find a rose in a field of stinging nettles, you are probably setting yourself up for disappointment.

Relationships are bizarre things and people behave differently in different relationships as they change their expectations. I used to think that my parents were fuddy-duddies because they told me to choose someone whose background was similar to my own. I wanted something more exotic. Well, sometimes that works but the truth is that their upbringing and experiences are so far removed from your that it's difficult to communicate. We have enough difficulty with that without added interest. While chatting with my guy the other night, he quoted one of his friends as saying "Why ruin a perfectly good relationship by getting married?" I told him that it wasn't the marriage that ruined the relationship it was the change in expectations from the partners involved. A female friend will behave differently from a girlfriend, who will have different expectations from being a wife. The same goes for guys. We all have our own set of rules and expectations from each of those relationships, even though these may be more subconscious.

The whole thing is like putting together a large and complicated puzzle.

I try no to be bitter. I really do.

What you say about just being friends first is true. What happens to often on "Dates" is people try to hard to impress the other person. Once the other person gets to know the real you they are left with disapiontment or the person tries so hard to keep inpressing, and that is too much work.

When one is relaxed just hanging out and enjoying the good time it is much more fun, u enjoy the others company much more, and most importantly you are trully being yourself.

As far as I know women mind is too much variable.The problem starts when they start comparing one guy with another one,to search the best one they hesitate to take decision.....but in the mean time if a jerk comes to her and show little bit confidence about the relationship....she can't stop herself. Being goodie goodie guy...passing computer engineering.....polite, gentle ......I just got some praise..... ...but Attraction is not a choice......girls love jerks caz they are simply friendly,naughty,laughing, cocky & funny.
Mix with those jerks....get ideas from them.....use those ideas....you all will get girl friends soon.Good Results and Money can't make attraction into a girl....this is the Universal Truth has revealed to me after suffering 28 years...but its too late....time has gone......

Arron, I know the feeling. I didn't lose my virginity till I was almost 21. I wouldn't stress too much about it. If it is really eating you up inside then I would maybe take some cash, get some new threads and go out. Be confident about yourself and everything will fall into place.


Message was edited by: Emelanson

>
> 1) There is nothing a woman finds more attractive
> than a man who is not interested in her.

That seems to have been true for me:
I had two close female friends, but I did not know how much either of them were interested in a serious relationship. So I just played "coy" right along with them; and I had dates with both of them. They both knew this, and were frends of each other.
Finally one day, one of them told me that the other was really interested in a serious relationship - that I should make moves to get closer to her. Well, I did, but she planted the first kiss. Now we've been happily married for 26 years.