My wife and i are on a separation. She suggested i move down to where we used to live for a bit so i can get fixed what i needed to get fixed. This left her with our children and her parents real close by. Now we live in a house they bought. She's under their thumb and i've never been to popular with them. Buti digress.She's been alone with the children 2 and 4 but not really because her mom and dad are there to help. I've been out of a job since october despite my best efforts i get turned down everywhere i go. Now i've only been gone a week and a helf but she's already in the mind set that she doesnt want me back, doesnt want me around and doesnt even want me to stayin the house so i can be there this weekend for my kids. It's fathers day- as you know and i'm miserable. I love my wife my children are my world. She's my world.. any advice would be appreciated.

Well i've been there done it and bought the t-shirt.
all but the job thing. the only advice I have is to separate the wife and the kids, No matter what you will always be there Dad, Now the wife you can try to work on
it, but don't give up on the kids. Even if you have to eat your pride. spend your time with the kids , they love you with or without a job. Just don't be depressed around the kids, just spend some time with just them and
focus on them.

A man's kids will love him with no strings attached, as long as he treats them right and loves them with all his heart. I too - been there. 5 years now (I got custody of the two wee ones - helps, so it does). We have times and trials, but they know that I love them, and that their mom loves them. Best advise? Don't bad mouth the mom in front of the kids. I've made that mistake, so.. just a word to the wise. Put your trust in God, put your head up and keep on moving.. forward. Always Forward.

I am a child of divorce and a new father (2 1/2 years).
Although things seem tough now, and they are, no matter what happens, be the man you want to be and the father you want to be. Not that Ozzie Nelson wasn't a great role model, but not all of us have it like that. Just make it so that when you look in the mirror, you like the person you see. Honesty, Respect and Integrity are free yet are some of the most valued qualities on the planet.
Spend as much time with your children as possible and let them see the man you are. This is important for anyone as I believe that our identity comes often from our childhood and our families. Make them proud of you by being proud of yourself. If you can show your children with confidence the true man and father that they have, it will stay with them forever.
I see now while trying to be the best father that I can be, that this is learned from the mistakes, victories and honesty that I learned from my father and that he learned from his.
Good Luck on your Journey

Thank youall for the words of advice. My wife filed for divorce tuesday.. my heart is crushed. As for me being there for my children i will and can do what i am able. i have a job in the works all i need is to hear back from them. i need to find a place to stay that has 2 bedrooms one for my kids, they're young enough they dont need separate rooms. Mywife knows how dedicated i am to these children but right now i'm just trying to find the motivation to be happy as i've had very little good news in the past month. Again thanks everyone.

Hang in there... Lord knows, the first year or so is the toughest. The kids though, THEY love you unconditionally. and that, sometimes, is more than enough.

Hang in there. It will get better.

Keep the chin up and work on yourself and the kids. Nothing else! Ignore other women and stay away from the booze!

The greatest piece of advice I was given when I was in your shoes: "Never answer anything for three days and remember, she's no longer you wife/protector/mate, she's simply a partner in an LLC!"

My advice is remember that if you cannot control it you shouldn't be afraid of it. Think on them!!

BTW, I am happier now being divorced now than I was in amny many years of marriage!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Aino:
I guess, I'm too late to advice you on what to do... But, I have to comment something, are you not inlove with each other anymore??? In a family, the father and mother are the foundation of a good home. If one crashed down, the affected part of the family are your siblings. So, if your given a chance to build up your family again, just try to... Your children needed you and your wife so much... They're not still ready to face this kind of problem. Don't make them suffered the consequence of your actions.


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"Siblings" are brothers and sisters. Don't you mean children, or maybe "offspring"? Sometimes people confuse "offspring" and "siblings" because they both have "ing" on them, they aren't the same thing.

Did your parents divorce?

Don't understand how they got a divorce when you were in jr. high, then separated while you were in high school.

Doesn't matter, it still su.cks for parents to divorce while their kids still live at home and really need them.

It's the age old question, are the kids better off if the parents divorce, instead of fighting all the time and creating a bad environment? Except in your case, they didn't fight around you, so I expect that you were surprised and confused when they suddenly got divorced, and you didn't have a dad around...too bad, hope you do better by yoru kids some day.

And don't call me sir, I appreciate the respect, but it seems a little odd, OK??