..is easy.

just be the one YOU wanted.

Now there is a crock if I have every heard it! easy my buttock! Balancing discipline, emotional support, and pushing the child to be the best he can be is no easy task. Not to mention if you didn't have a father, you really have no basis for your conceptual model.

of course I'm working so the humor button is suppressed...

..and pushing the child to be the best he can be is no easy task. ...if you didn't have a father, you really have no basis for your conceptual model...

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re: pushing the child-- for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.

how about...?

..[u]encourage[/u] the child to be the best he can be. that's easier. otherwise you're pushing him to be the best YOU think he can be.

one of the worse (worst?) things that can happen to a child is the unlived dreams of the parent.

re: if you didn't have a father, you really have no basis for your conceptual model--

but i do, so i do.

to a 20 month daughter, who does not eat on a regular basis and is under percentile is very challenging and stressful.


Message was edited by: calidude

Sorry wrong words, right attitude.

That sounds good but it is unrealistic to think it is easy.

> That sounds good but it is unrealistic to
> think it is easy.

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well, whatever you believe...

you're right!

I like the original idea -- be the dad you wanted.

Here's who I wanted: he spent time -- not "quality" time, but real time. He didn't hit or demean. He brought up sex and masturbation and didn't pretend it was something he'd never thought about. He took my interests seriously, and introduced his interests equally seriously. He didn't try to be my contemporary or pretend he knew what it was like to be me, but he did try to understand.

I didn't get him the first time, so I created him when my own sons came along. Did I do it all right? No, probably not. I'm sure my sons are making lists of things they'll do better. And that makes me glad.

Grog, buddy, there are no "conceptual" models for dads. As you know, they are men, simply men.

I agree Grog, at some point you have to push your children, that is when encouraging is not enough.

is a rewarding experience that pushes you to extremes in emotion, fear and love. I hope I can be a good father to my 2 girls (7 and 1 yr old).

...is like holding a mirror up, and seeing your-self in ways you never imagined.

I always feel like I learn more about myself from watching my two kids, than from being me for 40 years. Maybe that says more about me than about being a father?

Right on, popeye.

> ..is easy.
>
> just be the one YOU wanted.
>
>

That is a bit of good advice. I never knew my dad - he died when I was just a toddler - but I did have my grandfather. He was a good man - honest, hardworking, and all that. But I still wanted a dad. So when I became a father, I did just what popeye suggested. Or tried to anyway. It wasn't "easy" but it was simple.

I know I'm a bit too late to response in this forum but I guess its just a matter of seconds. Being a father was a tough job.... Some of them thought that as a father you have put things in its proper place. A double jeopardy I think... But guess its just usual... My father was never been a good father to us. Because, he was with other home. He left us and file a divorce suit to my mother... It was very tragic in my part for I was in junior high when it happened. Until now I felt the same feeling for my father...


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