Growing up I always thought I wanted a pack of children when I got married. I came from a large family (youngest of 5) and thought I wanted at least 4 or 5. But now that I am married (finally) and almost 29, I am thinking that maybe less is more. I have never wanted just one kid but I am thinking (and my wife agrees) that 2 is a nice number. Not too many, not too few. What do you fellas think? How many kids do you have and how far apart in age are they. Me and my siblings were really spread out and I think there is something for having less of an age gap (I am 12 years younger than my oldest brother-the closest in age was 5 yrs older than me).

another part to my question is about waiting for a little while after getting married to start the family. I have been married for 5 months and my wife and I are thinking about waiting until we are married about a year to start working on Project Baby. Does anyone have an opinions about this? We thought that it is important to establish our relationship before adding a kid to the mix. We were together about 8 months before we were married and it seems like a good idea to get settled into the newlywed thing before adding parenthood. SInce I am almost 29 and my wife is 32 so we know we cannot wait forever to crank up the baby machine. Any thoughts?

I think a good number is zero. I've been married for 10 years - no kids, house is paid for, no debt, no college to pay for. I cant tell you what a great feeling it is!

Hoosierboy,

The decision really depends on what you and your spouse think you can handle. Some couples are better off without children at all (as someone else has very negatively mentioned) and others have the financial resources, patience, and desire to fill their home with little ones. My wife and I have two daughters and if we never have another, I am content. Right now, the two of us make about $50,000/yr. together, so finances are a little rough. Of course, I am crossing my fingers for a son, but if we do not have any more, that will just mean that I can focus all of my love on my daughters.

Hope that helps.

Jason

There is nothing negative in my posting - just stating facts. I see too many people rushing to have children after they get married like lemmings running off a cliff - b/c that's what you are "supposed" to do. Screw that. Be your own person. I have also found that without having children it allows me to focus my spare time in volunteering in my community, nursing homes and with those less fortunate that I am. Not having kids allows me to do those things that many of my peers can't even think about doing b/c they are busy carting thier kids off to every activity known to man. I'm not interested in having my world revolve around my offspring - would rather spend time in service to others. Don't see too many "negative things" about that. What I'm saying is - dont give into convention and do things b/c society and the media tell you to do so.

Its been a while since you posted this so who knows if you track back to it. The right number is what is right for you.

I think as you get older, have more life experience the number of kids you want may be less that the herd you wanted when you were growing up. Even if you have 2 kids, most likely they are going to be part of a much larger family, assumning your siblings also have kids.

Kids do require sacrifices and I'm not sure as we get older that we are willing to make those sacrifices to the same level. Kids are also expensive so if you are having kids up 'til you are 40 you are looking at funding college tuitions at the same time as retirement. Kids are also hard work both physically when they are young and mentally/emotionally for theirs and your entire life. Until you die you will be their Dad and they your kids. Some people just have more stamina than others.

As a Dad of 3 I can say that the sacrifices are well worth it. I think the idea of any more kids would put me over the top which is why I went under the knife when # 3 was on the way.