So, you're saying that "Lost" isn't important??? Sacrilege!

I get your message. The problem is that we can't deny the prevalence of popular culture in our world. The "Men are idiotic brutes who need to be controlled" message is being implemented into law and policy. When people are constantly bombarded with these messages, they become de facto truths.

I look at my 23 year old son, and wonder what kind of world he's going into as he leaves school and home. He's a white man from an upper middle class background - he might as well be Satan himself for a large part of our society. Have I given him the skills he needs to navigate a world shaped by PC anti-male rhetoric? Time will tell I guess.

quote:

We all need a best friend to get through life with, a guy you can count on to cover your back when you truly need that cover, and vice versa.

I fyou can find such a wingman, God bless you. Since college I haven't had the good fortune. The last such person - other than much-better-half, was a female who remains my friend (by e-mail) but one I'm not likely to cross paths with in the future.

You make it sound like a task to be done, to get a friend is like getting a oil change. Life doesn't work that way for some of us, I suppose.

LKS - I'm not implying that "Lost" isn't important, just that it is quite easy to get caught up in the trivial matters and lose focus of what is really important. I've never seen "Lost", or any programming for that matter for about 10 years or so. When I worked 2nd and 3rd shift, I lost contact with the tv world and have never gone back, I find I don't miss it at all.

PoconoChuck - I apologize if I make a friend sound like a task to be crossed off of a list, that isn't my intent at all. I can't speak for anyone other than yours truly but there are matters that I only want to discuss with my buddy. I don't concur with hiding something from my wife, just that there are times when I, and what I have to say, will be appreciated/understood by Benny.

I'm not trying to rub salt in any wound, but I am coming to understand some of the detachment that you guys are relaying, and appreciate the friendship that I have been blessed with even more. I'll pray that you all would be blessed with a great wingman.

My other wingman, my 31 year old son, got home safely from a year in Baghdad this past April as did his entire unit - that was prayers answered.

ITC3: No offense was implied nor taken.

While I also echo the sentiment that it is not about 'keeping things from wife', and therefor understand and appreciate the idea of having a male confident, I am no longer convinced we need a best friend/wingman to get through life.

For what it is worth, I've ridden through some pretty tough times involving wife and two sons, medically speaking. They're doing well now, and all is good in their respective areas, but at no time in those events did I have anyone to cover my back. Sure, I can agree with the concept of 'that was my lost', but you know what? I think in many ways I gained insight into what I have - both in family and in myself. The latter of which I might not have found if things were different. So while there are - without a doubt - benefits to having friends, you can learn a great deal about yourself in times of stress when you are without. And if fate means I find a guy for whom I can cover his back and he mine, fantastic. If I fly solo (with my wife, of course), then that's fine with me as well.


Glad to hear your other wingman and his unit got back safe; they are all doing an indescribably remarkable job.

Good topic. I often lament the state of affairs of a lot of men these days expecially whenever I see 2 or 3 young guys fooling around in a close "we trust each other implicitly" manner. I know those relationships still exist among some guys even though the ones I've had have only been shortlived. I've often tried to involve guys I know in many activities I enjoy and usually wind up going solo anyway. Sadly, the few guys I've been able to get to know well over the years have either died or moved away. It amazes me that the ones still around can't bring themselves to contact me even though I make many attempts to stay in touch with them. I've discussed with a number of other men thru different websites and chats similar to this and they echo my sentiments. Even though I'm thankful for being able to spend time with my family and a few colleagues at work, it would be nice to have a guy to talk to and trust on a one to one basis and share the things only guys can share. I'm in the NY-NJ-PA area, anyone else? Feel free to IM or post with any comments.

First off, welcome to the forums marriedguy. We all are struggling with this issue it seems.

I've been bouncing some ideas around in my head, but all that gave me was a headache

Maybe we need to start a thread on "ideas for finding guys to hang out with".