Ok, so here's the deal:

We're young, my girlfriend and me. She's twenty and I'm nineteen. We love each other very much, and we're really happy. So happy even, that I've decided that if it's necessary, I'll prefer being with her forever without having sex at all(well, maybe a little) over the opposite.
Remember here that I'm nineteen, and believe me: I am, as you may call it, sexually very healthy. I like it, it's important to me - but just not quite as important as she is.
She's been brought up quite protectively, that may be part of it. Sex has never been a way of looking at life before she met me, she's just not used to it.

When we do have sex, she likes it a lot: it's not a question of miscommunication. She likes to have sex and she would like a lot to be more horny more often. She just isn't. We talk about it a lot and we try. I try to turn her on, she tries to relax and be aroused. And you know, sometimes it happens, maybe once every two weeks. And then it's still only mutual masturbation - she is still a virgin. Don't think we haven't been trying to do something about that - but it hurts too much for her to keep wanting it. Lately, we hardly even try anymore.
We've been together for just over half a year now and it doesn't seem to get any better over time. She tries to get more relaxed with the idea of sex.

When I used to hear stories about people with the same problem, I'd be the kind of boy who'd say "He just doesn't know how to pleasure a woman". So maybe that's it. I just don't do it the right way and she doesn't even realize it could be much better. Weird though, 'cause with my previous girlfriend sex was never a problem. We'd do it dayly, heck *twice*dayly, and I'm confident enough to say I knew how to pleasure her.

So that's what is comes down to. She started reading women's mags that try to make sex discussable, and I started posting on forums like this.

Please try to help. I wouldn't know how you could, but please do.

regards,

in_dubio

It seems to me that it's not a question of libido, but rather one of timing.

She sounds like she's simply not ready for sex (and by sex I mean intercourse, not foreplay). You may need to decide whether or not you want to wait (it sounds like you do) and if so how to work with her to get her to that point. It could also be that she's not entirely comfortable with your relationship. I've found that some women need to feel secure in a relationship before they will commit to a sexual relationship.

Just my $.02, YYMV

thanks for your reply, it's better than nothing, of course.

I understand your point. But say she isn't ready for sex, then isn't it weird that she likes it so much when we get to it?
I guess that, when we take more time, get more used to it, enjoy it more and more often - we will slowly grow towards it (or i will get to a point where I just accept it, though that would be a pity). But i think you understand that will be a very difficult game. It sucks when you don't really understand eachother's bodies.

We'd really like it if this process could be made easier, faster, more efficient. The sexual insecurity really starts getting in our way. What I need to know is: how do I get her to feel happy and comfortable with sex as a dominant part of our lives?

well. really, thanks for your reply.

regards,

in_dubio