A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent
babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy ****, That must be my husband!'

So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and then started to run as fast as he could to his car.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And that folks............is how the fight started.

A guy woke up in the morning with a terrible hangover. Next to the bed were was a bouquet of flowers and a note from his wife - "Dear, there's a hot breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen. Love, your wife".

He stumbled into the bathroom a noticed a huge black eye. After shaving, he goes to the kitchen, and saw that the hall mirror is broken too.

His son is in the kitchen and as he's eating his huge breakfast the guy asks the son what all this is about.

Well, last night you came home drunk off your ass, stumbled into the mirror and hit your head on the doorknob. Mom helped you to bed, and as she's trying to get your pants off you kicked her away and said "get off me bitch, I'm married".