I guess that's the single most important question - you indicate that you still love your wife - I'm not sure I can say that anymore. To be clear, it's not just that our relationship lacks intimacy in a physical way - it lacks it in emotional, spiritual and psychological ways. We have little that remains in common (except our son, and we have different parenting ideas). Chief E - you mention staying despite considering the "walk" before - if I can ask, what were/are the characteristics of a "love" that keeps you returning?

My once-a-month club card expired when Clinton was in the White House (now there's a guy who had his once-a-month card punched a few times).

Anyway, yes I agree that this site is helping me work through these challenges.

First of all I am a woman. I have been married 8 years. I have two kids and I have been through the not wanting to have sex phase. I just didn't want it after the birth of my first child. Depression was part, but you become this "new" person, who is getting alot of your "human touch" needs met by the child.

Now, I want it all of the time and my husband is pissing me off. I have mixed feelings on cheating. And what is cheating. I have been "making out" with a friends husband off and on for a year now. It hasn't gone past touching yet, but it probably will. I feel bad about it, but on the other hand. I am more turned on with my husband after this happens.

He knows we are having problems and knows that sex has just gotten lax.

I think that cheating can sometimes bring back what was missing in the marriage. You just loose that excitement and I get the rush of both the fact that I am not supposed to be doing it with the "other guy" and the fact that I have a secret that makes me feel sexy. Someone else is attracted to me. They aren't "obligated" to have sex with me and they want to anyway.

This is all going on while our spouses are around, they just don't know it is happening.

I love my husband. He is a great father and a hard worker. He just isn't great at intimacy. I am able to get intimacy and excitement and a feeling of being wanted with this other guy. As long as it isn't hurting the current relationship...I can't say that it is always a bad thing.

Okay, now this worries me.. Being that I see the same kinda of stuff on the Men's Health forums..

My wife and I are young, 27 and 28 respectively. We have two boys; 2 and 4. And while she has never really denied me.. Especially now that I'm working out and getting ride of some bad habits I see and ebb and flow that is really going towards the ebb.. And that kinda concerns me..

A bit more background. I'm a full-time dad and student in the evenings, a great cook and try and do everything and anything I can for my wife, my only real hangup is a like of beer, which I know she really hates..

But like I said, I don't want to be on the line for this kind of life that I'm reading about.. My wife is freakin hot, even after the kids, the sex is amazing when I can get it. And I sure as hell don't want to think that cheating is in my future.

Hey, Nathan - you're in Anchorage, so head down to 4th street (IIRC) and just sit and enjoy the shows.

No, really - I too was married at 21, but I was divorced by 27. While 21 doesn't have to be too young, in our case it was.

Now the sex was always good, but the rest of the relationship wasn't so hot. You need to do a gut check about the other parts of your relationship and ask yourself why you feel the "seven year itch" (as you mentioned in another post).

just bumping this above new spam

bump

Cheating at anything..relationship, work, play is a matter of what you can live with. We are taught from childhood that cheating is wrong and that cheaters don't really win because they have to live with themselves. Again what can you live with? For me there is varying degrees. Can I cheat at cards and live with it? At times yes and at times no. When it's no I don't do it.
Strip poker with my wife I'm cheating every chance I get. Nickle dime game with friends if i'm losing most hands and it's getting expensive maybe a hand or two to offset losses. There's a saying that " He who cheats WINS!" Would I cheat on my wife? Right now NO! That could change if any or all of the conditions of tour marriage change. What can you live with?

bump